Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Hair of the Dog

Blarney Pub and Grill
412 14th Ave. SE
Minneapolis, MN 55414
612.331.1527

One look at the Blarney Pub and Grill's website would tell you that this place was not suited for the TCBC. They specialize in Irish Car Bombs and things like "Whiskey Dick Wednesdays" (which I find strangely intriguing), not crispy hash browns and skim milk lattes. This should give you an indication of the level of desperation that had befallen breakfast club on Saturday. We made the mistake of trying to decide on a place as we were driving around aimlessly. After an hour of driving and at least five failures, we were in Dinkytown, hungry, and more then a little cranky. We saw the Blarney Pub and Grill and it passed the two remaining hurdles we had, it was open and had immediate seating. While the eating experience was essentially wretched, I am giving the Blarney a passing grade. Under the right scenario, the Blarney Pub and Grill isn't too bad. Let me explain.

Do you remember college? Do you remember waking up on a Saturday or Sunday morning/afternoon after an especially raucous night? As soon as you open your eyes, you notice a number of things, 1) your mouth tastes like the inside of an empty beer can that also has been used as an ashtray, 2) the sun is especially bright, 3) there appears to be a noise rock band practicing inside you head. As you stagger out of bed, half awake and probably still half drunk, you know there is only one cure for your state and that is a large helping of grease in the form of eggs, hash browns, bacon, and toast. These are your only requirements. None of the food needs to be particularly good, in fact, it is better if the food isn't good because you won't appreciate it anyway. The food just needs to be greasy and quick. All that fat and grease somehow soak up all of the evil toxins that you ingested the previous night and make you feel halfway normal again. It's the ultimate hangover cure (sometime the strong-willed couple this breakfast with a stiff bloody mary, hangover be gone!).

Greasy and Quick. The Blarney Pub and Grill fits this description perfectly. If you expect anything more you will be disappointed. The options are limited, although they do have a bowl of lucky charms for those that are particularly queasy; the potatoes were especially freezer burny; and the best part of the meal was the toast. As a quality eating establishment, the Blarney Pub and Grill is a complete failure. As a hangover cure for a college student, the Blarney Pub and Grill is not too bad.

TCBC Grade=F
Drunken College Student Grade=B
Overall Grade=C-/D+

1 comment:

Alex said...

This was a breakfast of last resort for the club, as you mentioned, and given the circumstances and my extreme hunger I tried to overcome my food snobbery and get in the spirit of the place. It was an Irish joint and they had corned beef hash, so I ordered it.

Back in my childhood, when I spent weekends at my dad's, there were rare occassions when he'd open up a can of corned beef hash. I don't remember it well, but I do remember it fondly, as a mass of salty, meaty-potatoey goodness.

The Blarney corned beef hash did not stand up to my vague memories of canned hash. It was dry and tasteless. Even near-faint with hunger as I was, I couldn't eat more than half of it. Any restaurant that fails to withstand a comparison with faint memories of meat in a can does not merit a return visit. In short, this Blarney place is ishy.